The Host Chapter 23: Confessed

The shadow was huge and misshapen. It loomed over me, ex unitaryrate-heavy, swinging closer to my face.I turn over I meant to scream, exclusively the sound got trapped in my throat, and all that came appear was a breathless squeak.Shh, its hardly me, Jamie verbalize. Something bulky and roundish rolled from his shoulders and plopped softly to the floor. When it was done for(p) I could see his true, lithe shadow against the moonlight.I caught a just about gasps of air, my hand clutching at my throat.Sorry, he whispered, sitting down on the spring of the mattress. I guess that was pretty stupid. I was trying non to wake Doc-I didnt even think how I would sc be you. You okay? He patted my ankle, which was the part of me closest to him.Sure, I huffed, still breathless.Sorry, he muttered again.What are you doing here, Jamie? Shouldnt you be a peacefulness?Thats why Im here. Uncle Jeb was snoring like you wouldnt believe. I couldnt stand it bothmore.His answer didnt make sense to me. Dont you usually sleep with Jeb?Jamie yawned and bent to untie the bulky furnishroll hed dropped to the floor. no(prenominal) I usually sleep with Jared. He doesnt snore. But you know that.I did.Why dont you sleep in Jareds room, past? be you afraid to sleep alone? I wouldnt deplete blamed him for that. It seemed like I was constantly terrified here.Afraid, he grumbled, offended. No. This is Jareds room. And mine.What? I gasped. Jeb put me in Jareds room?I couldnt believe it. Jared would kill me. No, he would kill Jeb first, and because he would kill me.Its my room, too. And I told Jeb you could have it.Jared will be furious, I whispered.I can do what I want with my room, Jamie muttered rebelliously, scarcely then he bit his lip. We wont tell him. He doesnt have to know.I nodded. Good idea.You dont mind if I sleep in here, do you? Uncle Jebs in truth loud.No, I dont mind. But Jamie, I dont think you should.He frowned, trying to be tough instead of stand. Why not?Becau se its not safe. Sometimes people come hearing for me at night.His eyes went wide. They do?Jared always had the gun-they went away.Who?I dont know-Kyle sometimes. But there are incontestablely others who are still here.He nodded. All the more reason why I should stay. Doc might need help.Jamie -Im not a kid, Wanda. I can hook on care of myself.Obviously, arguing was only going to make him more stubborn. At least deliver the bed, I said, surrendering. Ill sleep on the floor. Its your room.Thats not right. Youre the guest.I snorted quietly. Ha. No, the bed is yours.No way. He lay down on the mat, folding his arms tightly crossways his chest.Again, I saw that arguing was the wrong approach to take with Jamie. Well, this one I could rectify as soon as he was asleep. Jamie slept so deeply it was almost a coma. Melanie could carry him anywhere once he was out.You can use my pillow, he told me, patting the one next to the side where he lay. You dont need to scrunch up at the bottom th ere.I sighed but crawled to the top of the bed.Thats right, he said approvingly. Now, could you throw me Jareds?I hesitated, to the highest degree to reach for the pillow under my head he jumped up, leaned over me, and snatched the other pillow. I sighed again.We lay in silence for a while, listening to the low whistle of the doctors breathing.Doc has a nice snore, doesnt he? Jamie whispered.It wont keep you up, I agreed.You well-worn?Yeah.Oh.I waited for him to say something more, but he was quiet.Was there something you wanted? I asked.He didnt answer right away, but I could feel him struggling, so I waited.If I asked you something, would you tell me the righteousness?It was my turn to hesitate. I dont know e verything, I hedged.You would know this. When we were walking me and Jeb he was telling me some things. Things he thought, but I dont know if hes right.Melanie was suddenly very there in my head.Jamies whisper was hard to hear, quieter than my breathing. Uncle Jeb thinks t hat Melanie might still be alive. Inside there with you, I mean.My Jamie. Melanie sighed.I said nothing to either of them.I didnt know that could happen. Does that happen? His voice broke, and I could hear that he was fighting tears. He was not a boy to cry, and here Id grieved him this deeply twice in one day. A pain pierced through the general region of my chest.Does it, Wanda?Tell him. Please tell him that I love him.Why wont you answer me? Jamie was really crying now but trying to muffle the sound.I crawled off the bed, squeezing into the hard space between the mattress and the mat, and threw my arm over his shaking chest. I leaned my head against his hair and felt his tears, warm on my neck.Is Melanie still alive, Wanda? Please?He was probably a tool. The old man could have sent him just for this Jeb was smart enough to see how easily Jamie broke through my defenses. It was possible that Jeb was seeking confirmation for his theory, and he wasnt against using the boy to get it. What would Jeb do when he was certain of the dangerous truth? How would he use the information? I didnt think he meant me harm, but could I trust my own judgment? public were deceitful, treacherous creatures. I couldnt anticipate their nighteder agendas when such things were unthinkable to my species.Jamies body shook beside me.Hes suffering, Melanie cried. She battered ineffectually at my control.But I couldnt blame this on Melanie if it moody out to be a huge mistake. I knew who was speaking now.She promised she would come rachis, didnt she? I murmured. Would Melanie break a promise to you?Jamie slid his arms around my waist and clung to me for a long time. After a few minutes, he whispered, Love you, Mel.She loves you, too. Shes so happy that youre here and safe.He was silent long enough for the tears on my skin to dry, leaving a fine, salty dust behind.Is everybody like that? Jamie whispered long after I thought hed fallen asleep. Does everybody stay?No, I told him sadly. No . Melanie is special.Shes strong and brave.Very.Do you think He paused to sniff. Do you think that maybe Dad is still there, too?I swallowed, trying to move the lump farther down my throat. It didnt work. No, Jamie. No, I dont think so. Not like Melanie is.Why?Because he brought the Seekers run acrossing for you. Well, the soul inside him did. Your father wouldnt have let that happen if he were still there. Your sister never let me see where the cabin was-she didnt even let me know that you existed for the longest time. She didnt bring me here until she was sure that I wouldnt hurt you.It was too more than information. Only as I finished speaking did I realize that the doctor wasnt snoring anymore. I could hear no racket from his breathing. Stupid. I cursed myself internally.Wow, Jamie said.I whispered into his ear, so close that there was no way the doctor could possibly overhear. Yes, shes very strong.Jamie strained to hear me, frowning, and then glanced at the opening to the dark hall. He must have realized the same thing I had, because he turned his face to my ear and whispered back softer than before. Why would you do that? Not hurt us? Isnt that what you want?No. I dont want to hurt you.Why?Your sister and I have spent a lot of time together. She shared you with me. And I started to to love you, too.And Jared, too?I gritted my teeth for a second, chagrined that he had made the confederacy so easily. Of course I dont want anything to hurt Jared, either.He hates you, Jamie told me, plainly grieved by the fact.Yes. Everyone does. I sighed. I cant blame them.Jeb doesnt. And I dont.You might, after you think about it more.But you werent even here when they took over. You didnt pick my dad or my mom or Melanie. You were in outer space then, right? Yes, but I am what I am, Jamie. I did what souls do. Ive had many hosts before Melanie, and nothings stopped me from pickings lives. Again and again. Its how I live.Does Melanie hate you?I thought for a minute. Not as much as she used to.No. I dont hate you at all. Not anymore.She says she doesnt hate me at all anymore, I murmured almost silently.How how is she?Shes happy to be here. Shes so happy to see you. She doesnt even care that theyre going to kill us.Jamie stiffened under my arm. They cant Not if Mels still aliveYouve upset him, Melanie complained. You didnt have to say that.It wont be any easier for him if hes unprepared.They wont believe that, Jamie, I whispered. Theyll think Im lying to trick you. Theyll just want to kill me more if you tell them that. Only Seekers lie.The word made him shudder.But youre not lying. I know it, he said after a moment.I shrugged.I wont let them kill her.His voice, though quiet as a breath, was raging with determination. I was paralyzed at the thought of him becoming more involved with this situation, with me. I thought of the barbarians he lived with. Would his age harbor him from them if he tried to protect me? I enquiryed it. My thoughts scram bled, searching for some way to dissuade him without triggering his stubbornness.Jamie spoke before I could say anything he was suddenly calm, as if the answer was plain in front of him. Jared will think of something. He always does.Jared wont believe you, either. Hell be the angriest of them all.Even if he doesnt believe it, hell protect her. Just in case.Well see, I muttered. Id arise the perfect words later-the argument that would not sound like an argument.Jamie was quiet, thinking. Eventually, his breathing got slower, and his mouth fell open. I waited until I was sure he was deeply under, and then I crawled over him and very carefully shifted him from the floor to the bed. He was heavier than before, but I managed. He didnt wake.I put Jareds pillow back where it belonged, and then stretched out on the mat.Well, I thought, I just hurled myself out of the frying pan. But I was too tired to care what this would mean tomorrow. Within seconds, I was unconscious.When I woke, the cr evices in the ceiling were bright with echoed sunlight, and someone was whistling.The whistling stopped.Finally, Jeb muttered when my eyes fluttered.I rolled onto my side so that I could look at him as I moved, Jamies hand slid from my arm. Sometime in the night he must have reached out to me-well, not to me, to his sister.Jeb was leaning against the natural rock door frame, his arms folded across his chest. Morning, he said. Get enough sleep?I stretched, decided that I felt acceptably rested, and then nodded.Oh, dont give me the silent treatment again, he complained, scowling.Sorry, I murmured. I slept well, thank you.Jamie stirred at the sound of my voice.Wanda? he asked.I was ridiculously touched that it was my silly nickname that he spoke on the edge of sleep.Yes?Jamie blinked and pulled his tangled hair out of his eyes. Oh, hey, Uncle Jeb.My room not good enough for you, kid?You snore real loud, Jamie said, and then yawned.Havent I taught you anything? Jeb asked him. Since when do you let a guest and a lady sleep on the floor?Jamie sat up suddenly, staring around, disoriented. He frowned.Dont upset him, I told Jeb. He insisted on taking the mat. I moved him when he was asleep.Jamie snorted. Mel always used to do that, too.I widened my eyes slightly at him, trying to convey a warning.Jeb chuckled. I looked up at him, and he had that same pouncing-cat expression hed had yesterday. The solved-puzzle expression. He walked over and kicked the edge of the mattress.Youve already missed your morning class. Sharons bound to be testy about that, so get a move on.Sharon is always testy, Jamie complained, but he got to his feet quickly.On your way, boy.Jamie looked at me again, then he turned and disappeared into the hall.Now, Jeb said as soon as we were alone. I think all this baby-sitting nonsense has gone on long enough. Im a busy man. Everyone is busy here-too busy to sit around playin guard. So at present youre going to have to come along with me while I get my chores done.I felt my mouth pop open.He stared at me, no smile.Dont look so terrified, he grumbled. Youll be fine. He patted his gun. My house is no place for babies.I couldnt argue with that. I took three quick, deep breaths, trying to steady my nerves. pipeline pulsed so loudly in my ears that his voice seemed quiet in comparison when he spoke again.Cmon, Wanda. Days wasting.He turned and stomped out of the room.I was frozen for a moment, and then I lurched out after him. He wasnt bluffing-he was already invisible around the first corner. I raced after him, horrified by the thought that I might run into someone else in this obviously inhabited wing. I caught up to him before he reached the big intersection of the tunnels. He didnt even look at me as I slowed beside him to match his pace.Bout time that northeast field was planted. Well have to work the soil first. Hope you dont mind getting your detention dirty. After were done, Ill see that you get a chance to clean yourself up. You need it. He sniffed pointedly, then laughed.I felt the back of my neck get hot, but I send awayd the last part. I dont mind getting my hands dirty, I murmured. As I recalled, the empty northeastern field was out of the way. possibly we would be able to work alone.Once we got to the big plaza cave, we started passing humans. They all stared, infuriated, as usual. I was beginning to recognize most of them the middle-aged charwoman with the long salt-and-pepper braid I had seen with the irrigation team yesterday. The short man with the round belly, thinning sandy hair, and ruddy cheeks had been with her. The athletic-looking woman with the caramel brown skin had been the one bent to tie her shoe the first time Id come out here during the day. Another dark-skinned woman with thick lips and sleepy eyes had been in the kitchen, near the two black-haired children-perhaps she was their mother? Now we passed Maggie she glowered at Jeb and turned her face away from me. We passed a pal e, sick-looking man with w refere hair whom I was sure Id never seen before. Then we passed Ian.Hey, Jeb, he said cheerfully. Whatcha up to?Turning the soil in the east field, Jeb grunted.Want some help?Ought to make yourself useful, Jeb muttered.Ian took this as an approve and fell into step behind me. It gave me goose bumps, feeling his eyes on my back.We passed a young man who couldnt have been many years older than Jamie-his dark hair stood up from his olive-toned forehead like steel wool.Hey, Wes, Ian greeted him.Wes watched in silence as we passed. Ian laughed at his expression.We passed Doc.Hey, Doc, Ian said.Ian. Doc nodded. In his hands was a big clutch of dough. His shirt was covered with dark, coarse flour. Morning, Jeb. Morning, Wanda.Morning, Jeb answered.I nodded uneasily.See you round, Doc said, hurrying off with his burden.Wanda, huh? Ian asked.My idea, Jeb told him. Suits her, I think.Interesting was all Ian said.We finally made it to the northeastern field, where my hopes were dashed.thither were more people here than there had been in the passageways-five women and nine men. They all stopped what they were doing and scowled, naturally.Pay em no mind, Jeb murmured to me.Jeb proceeded to follow his own advice he went to a underground pile of tools against the closest wall, shoved his gun through the strap at his waist, and grabbed a pick and two shovels.I felt exposed, having him so far away. Ian was just a step behind me-I could hear him breathing. The others in the room continued to glower, their tools still in their hands. I didnt miss the fact that the picks and hoes that were breaking the earth could easily be used to break a body. It seemed to me, in reading a few of their expressions, that I wasnt the only one with that idea.Jeb came back and handed me a shovel. I gripped the smooth, dim wooden handle, feeling its weight. After seeing the bloodlust in the humans eyes, it was hard not to think of it as a weapon. I didnt like the idea . I doubted I could lift it as one, even to block a blow.Jeb gave Ian the pick. The sharp, blackened metal looked deadly in his hands. It took all my willpower not to skip out of range.Lets take the back corner.At least Jeb took me to the least crowded spot in the long, sunny cave. He had Ian pulverize the hard-baked dirt ahead of us, while I flipped the clods over and he followed behind, crushing the chunks into usable soil with the edge of his shovel.Watching the sweat run down Ians fair skin-hed removed his shirt after a few seconds in the dry scorch of the mirror light-and hearing Jebs grunted breaths behind me, I could see that I had the easiest job. I wished I had something more difficult to do, something that would keep me from be distracted by the movements of the other humans. Their every motion had me cringing and flinching.I couldnt do Ians job-I didnt have the thick arm and back muscles needed to really nag into the hard soil. But I decided to do what I could of Jebs, prechopping the clods into smaller bits before I moved on. It helped a little bit-kept my eyes busy and tired me out so that I had to concentrate on making myself work.Ian brought us water now and then. There was a woman-short and fair, Id seen her in the kitchen yesterday-who seemed to have the job of manner of speaking water to the others, but she ignored us. Ian brought enough for three every time. I found his about-face in regard to me unsettling. Was he really no agelong intent on my death? Or just looking for an opportunity? The water always tasted funny here-sulfurous and stale-but now that taste seemed suspicious. I tried to ignore the paranoia as much as possible.I was working hard enough to keep my eyes busy and my mind numb I didnt notice when we hit the end of the last row. I stopped only when Ian did. He stretched, pulling the pick overhead with two hands and popping his joints. I shied away from the raised(a) pick, but he didnt see. I realized that everyone else ha d stopped, too. I looked at the fresh-turned dirt, even across the entire floor, and realized that the field was complete.Good work, Jeb announced in a loud voice to the group. Well seed and water tomorrow.The room was filled with soft chatter and clanks as the tools were piled against the wall once more. Some of the talk was casual some was still tense because of me. Ian held his hand out for my shovel, and I handed it to him, feeling my already low mood sink right to the floor. I had no doubt that I would be included in Jebs we. Tomorrow would be just as hard as today.I looked at Jeb mournfully, and he was smiling in my direction. There was a smugness to his grin that made me believe he knew what I was thinking-not only did he guess my discomfort, but he was enjoying it.He winked at me, my unhinged friend. I realized again that this was the best to be expected from human friendship.See you tomorrow, Wanda, Ian called from across the room, and laughed to himself.Everyone stared.